The Gap and the Gain
Dan Sullivan is a highly successful entrepreneur coach who has developed ‘The Gap and the Gain’ concept over many decades. It’s a great concept because it can have a profound, positive impact on your wellbeing.
Dan has released a new book called ‘The Gap and the Gain’ (2021). It is a wonderful read and we have captured the key elements for you in this article.
Dan describes the concept this way:
Your future growth and progress are based in your understanding about the difference the two ways in which you can measure yourself: against an ideal, which puts you in what I call ‘the Gap’, and against your starting point, which puts you in ‘the Gain’, appreciating all that you’ve accomplished.
The graphic below helps to explain this concept further:
In every circumstance you’re in, you’re either in the Gap or the Gain, but you cannot be in both at once.
The Gap is pervasive amongst highly successful people – CEOs are twice as likely to have depression compared to the general public. Even after a massive victory, high achievers’ minds often turn to the next unreached achievement. By being stuck in the Gap, people’s unhappiness can grow deeper and deeper with each external accomplishment.
As Dan says, “if you’re in the Gap and think happiness and success are something you pursue and will have in your future, then you’re in trouble”. You may be making yourself, and those around you, miserable.
Unfortunately, it is human nature to be in the Gap. You are in the Gap every time you measure yourself or your situation against an ideal. You’re not actually living in the moment, but rather have an unhealthy attachment to something external – for example, you ‘need’ more money to be happy.
Measuring yourself against an ideal is an endless race to nowhere. An ideal cannot be measured – it’s there for emotional, psychological and intellectual motivation, but it’s not there for measurement.
Being in the Gap stops you from living within your own experience. It stops you from appreciating where you are. It stops you from being happy.
Society has trained us to measure ourselves against our ideals, which by definition are unreachable. Even the US Declaration of Independence talks about ‘Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness”. There is evidence Thomas Jefferson lived his life in the Gap, so his choice of words is no surprise.
In contrast, being in the Gain means you measure yourself backward, against where you were before. When you’re in the Gain, your life is based on your actions and results, not what could or should have happened.
Every experience can be transformed into a Gain. As Dan says,
I’ve discovered that when something very emotional happens to me, it stays with me until I’ve converted it into lessons. Before I knew this was the case, I could become paralysed by negative experiences for long periods of time.
The Gain is based on being in harmony with what you want and knowing that you don’t need it. When you’re in the Gain, you’re completely free and happy right now. This enables you to commit 100% and pursue what you want without unhealthy attachments.
Your happiness as a person is dependent on what you measure yourself against.
You should measure your own Gains, rather than worrying about other people. Comparison makes you unhappy. Create a list of success criteria for your goals and measure your own progress instead. Live a self-determined life with an internal reference point.
Successful people don’t control events, they control their response to events. And the happiest among them always measure backward and enjoy enormous psychological benefits.
When I reflect on people I know who are happy and unhappy, the Gap and Gain concept does a great job of explaining their psyche. There have certainly been times in my life when I can identify being in the Gap, and that is why I wanted to share the concept with you.
Thanks to Dan Sullivan for his insight. I recommend reading his book or giving it to someone you know who may benefit from reading it.
Author: Rick Walker